Okay so, this is a problem that all of us face at some point in time in our lives. The question is how to stop thinking about someone? and how to stop missing someone?
Generally, when we’re thinking about someone,and we want to stop, we tend to try and push the thoughts away.
We want to forget about their existence or really just distract ourselves from these thoughts in one way or another.
And as you would have noticed these tactics don’t work.
So let’s talk about something that might actually help you.
What is missing someone?
Missing someone is something that is created by our thoughts. When someone leaves us we miss their presence, simple.
When you don’t think about them and you distract yourself by doing some fun activity, you don’t miss them.
When you do think about them, you do miss them.
Why do you keep thinking about them?
Clearly if you don’t know why you are thinking about someone. Then it becomes extremely hard to stop thinking about them.
You end up just pushing the thoughts away instead of directly addressing the cause of why they’re there.
The reason why we think about them, and continue to think about them is because we think that we would be happier if they were here.
It is that thought that you would be happier with them that makes you think about them.
When you are having some fun with your friends and enjoying, do you think about them?
No, because you dont need to think about them when you are happy.But when you’re just sitting there and letting your mind go, your mind keeps thinking that you would be happier with them around.
So when we’re missing someone, what we actually do is we generally think about a moment of pleasure from the past.
But let’s also think about this. Were all of those times that you spent with them enjoyable?
Did you have some moments when you were worrying about what they thought?
were you really annoyed with them at some point in time?
Did you judge them? Did the one you miss judged you?
Were there arguments? Were you worried that they were cheating on you? Did you worry about being loved or not?
While we’re thinking about how we would have been happier with them, we’re thinking about a specific moment of bliss and happiness.
But we can’t just make that specific moment real at present.
If we are going to bring someone back into our lives all the negative things that we felt also comes back with them.
Do you need that negativity at this point in your life?
Possibly you are not pleased with your present situation and that is perhaps why you are missing them.
Perhaps the solution you are searching for is finding new friends in your life and create new experiences that will make you happy instead of reviving older experiences.
So basically, we miss them because we feel that they are going to make us happy. But it is actually in our best interest to think about the past and practically figure out if having them back is a good idea. If you have had differences in the past then those differences could come back to haunt you. You might not need them in your life. If that is the case then it is best advised to stay away from them and find happiness in may be new people in your life. It is also a fact that when we feel that we can be happy with out them, we tend to stop thinking about them and move on. so if you find someone who can make you happy in the present. Then that is the best path going forward and for that to happen you should be willing to meet new people in the first place.